Memoirs of A Kunoichi
by Murasaki Fujiwara
Summary: Konan reflects upon her past and all she's lost... KonJir, onshot, very short


** A/N: This was actually a paper for an art class...odd paring, I know..leave me alone and quit flameing...there's a dojinshi of it on Deviantart...**

It was his judgment…. exactly like that of a god…

Yahiko had changed so much since he was a child. He used to be so kind and caring. After both our parents had died in the war, I remember living on the street with him. He was very brash and passionate, always to trying to cheer me up.

Then Negato came on the scene. His parents had been killed as well, though the way he dealt with it was much different from Yahiko's way…Negato was a very sad, shy boy, with an unpredictable thought pattern.

After a year we had abandoned all hope of survival. The village in which we lived had been reduced to nothing short of a ghost town. Those strong enough had fled with their lives, and those like us, who had nothing but each other, were left behind to fend for ourselves.

Negato took it the hardest, and it seemed like all hope was lost…

Then _he_ came…

Jiraiya-sensei had appeared out of the rain like the hero of an anchient legend. He was our hero, and he taught us everything he could, poured his heart and soul into our very survival. He was like a father to us, but for me he was so much more…Negato and Yahiko were like brothers to me, but Jiraiya-sensei was the first man I ever felt any romantic feelings whatsoever. It was such a petty crush now that I look back, but still…

I remember the last thing he said to me the day he left. It was such a simple, teasing phrase, in Jiraiya's usually careless manner… but it meant the world to me.

"Konan, I can tell you'll be a real beauty someday…look me up when you turn eighteen!" He said with a laugh before turning away.

That was the last day I saw him, until today.

After Negato's death, Yahiko had become ruthless, changing his name to Pein. I didn't know exactly what had happened to him at the time of Negato's death, but even I was forced to adapt to 'Pein', who seemed compleately different from the 'brother' I had known. Somewhere along the way, we were happened across my a mysterious man who clamed to be the Uchiha Madara. Together we formed the Akatsuki organization, Pein vowing to 'end a world of pain and suffering'. I just couldn't help but feel like there was something else behind it, though…like Madera was using us for something…

After many years of quiet planning, we finally made our move to capture the one tailed beast and set our 'master plan' into action as we moved up to the Nine-tailed fox…

And that's what brought Jiraiya-sensei back to us…

Pein had told me that we had to locate the intruder, I just wasn't expecting…HIM

Even though it had been so many years, I recognized Jiraiya-sensei immediately. He had the same wild, white hair, that brash manner of speech…

I'll never forgive myself for reporting him to Pein, and the cold air in Pein's voice when he gave me the orders to kill Jiraiya…

But his word was law…he was a god, and I was his messenger…my duty was to carry out his command.

Pein had always stressed one me the importance of staying together…

"In Negato's memory" he would say…

And of course…I believed him…if you hear something enough you start to do that…

But I'll never forgive myself…I should have killed Jiraiya-sensei before Pein got there…if only to spare us both the pain…

"Konan, you've improved your technique…and turned into one hell of a woman…I always thought you were dead…but all this time you were just a bunch of paper, scattered to the wind…" Jiraiya-sensei said thoughtfully as we face each other that last day. I could tell he was planning something…because he always talked idly when he was coming up with a plan…

And before I knew what hit me, I was trapped in a mire of toad-oil…and Pein had arrived…

Watching them fight it out was the hardest thing I had ever experienced…It was like watching the two things you love most tearing each other apart…

And in the end, Pein won…and I was still alone…


End file.
